Meme on books

I got tagged for a meme – 15 facts and personal preferences about books. Here goes. Thanks Christina.

1. I’ve always loved reading. Absolutely loved it.

2. I used to devour books on school vacations. I have particularly fond memories of reading The Famous Five series one summer. A bunch of them were hand-me-downs from my brother and I couldn’t get enough of them.

3. My mum once tore my copy of Harry and the Hendersons (yes, the book, based on the movie, or vice versa) in half down the spine because I wasn’t sharing something with my brother. He was visiting us in Barbados for Christmas. I’d just gotten the book and was lost in reading it. Christopher was sweet and taped it back together for me.

4. I single-handedly installed bookshelves in my office last year so I’d have somewhere to house all of my books. I still don’t have enough room – that’s after donating a couple of boxes to my church’s book sale last year and giving tons away through Bookcrossing.

5. I love the idea of Bookcrossing, but just don’t have the time to do it anymore. I think I only ever found one book I wanted to pick up and read. And I still haven’t read it yet.
6. My favorite book from my childhood is Watership Down.

7. I always wanted to be picked to read out loud in class at school. But they usually skipped over me and picked the kid who stumbled over his words.

8. Duncan has a trillion books, the bulk of which came from my sister-in-law who works as a teacher’s assistant in a school. He needs his own bookshelf (they’re on the ones in my office right now).

9. I’m currently reading Naked Conversations. All about blogging.

10. I was obsessed with reading books about pregnancy while I was pregnant with Duncan. But then I came home from the hospital and realized I didn’t have a single one about what to expect next. So I hopped on the computer and took care of that.

11. The last book I read for pleasure in its entireity (non-baby-related) was Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. It came out in early/mid-July and I waddled my hugely pregnant body to the store and indulged myself. Then I spent 3 days reading it in between naps, half worried that I’d go into labor before finishing it and half worried that I’d finish it and have nothing else good to read while I was waiting.

12. While I was being admitted to the hospital, I was reading Jhumpa Lahiri’s Interpreter of Maladies. However I only made it through the first short story which revolves around the breakdown of a marriage after the wife gives birth to a stillborn baby. Great. Bubble of peace. Bubble of peace.

13. Duncan’s favorite book is That’s Not My Dinosaur. He “reads” it by himself and loves touching the different textures. Coming in a close second is What Lives in the Pond as it’s squishy and he can eat it.

14. I rarely use cookbooks, yet I own at least a dozen.

15. I love having hardback books on my bookshelf, but I prefer reading paperbacks. They’re easier to hold and I don’t worry about damaging them.

Now I’m supposed to tag 3 people that may or may not ever complete this. Linda, Jen and Diedra. You’re it, mommy friends.

Things I found from last December

I got sucked into the computer last night instead of going to bed early along with everyone else (is my body actually getting used to functioning on less than a full night’s sleep?) and wound up reading a couple of blogs after doing a Google blog search on my name.

(Yes, I realize searching for one’s own name sounds tremendously narcisistic  but I couldn’t think of any other narrow search term at the time.)

I ran across two entries from December 2005. One had an excerpt of Duncan’s birth story, which lead me to read the full thing (on the old blog). I’d forgotten that I lost a pint of blood. In retrospect, that’s a lot of blood. No wonder my midwife looked concerned and the nurse started jabbing me with IM medication. I remember seeing the blood pour out of me and thinking it looked like an awful lot. That also explains why I was shaking so hard. I thought it was adrenaline, maybe it was sudden blood loss. In any rate, I’m absolutely fine now (if a tad sleep deprived). But it was a yank back in time to when Duncan was brand new.
The other entry was from my virtual friend Christina Miller’s blog, tagging me for a meme on my reading preferences. Hmm…guess I should complete that. (Although I’m honeslty not completely sure what a meme is. It’s a word I’ve heard/read before but just haven’t paid attention to.)

In a completely unrelated thought, the World Health Organization (a group I quote frequently when asked how long I’m going to breastfeed), announced new child growth standards yesterday. It doesn’t matter what charts you use, though, Duncan is still on the giant baby side. Apparently a perfectly average 9-month-old would be 28″ and 20 lbs. The child (a.k.a. my adorable, well-loved sweet kissable baby) is 31″ and 24.5 lbs., the size of an average 16-month-old.

Ready…set….go

Life as a freelancer has begun.

Thursday went well. (I took Wednesday off. I’ve had Wednesdays off for so long that it’ll be an adjustment working that day of the week again.) Even with taking Duncan for his 6-month appointment (and vaccinations and resulting cranky-clingyness) I got a decent amount of work done.

Friday…not so much. What did I do on Friday? A couple of hours work in the morning. Then Kevin went to bed so I was on duty. At some point in the afternoon we went out on errands and to the chiropractor. I do remember realizing what a luxury it was to not be trapped in an office and be able to be driving around in pre-rush hour traffic on a Friday afternoon. But then by the evening when Duncan was asleep (and he went to bed late) I was wiped out and didn’t manage to motivate myself to put in a couple more hours in front of the computer.

Today – today is Saturday. It’s the weekend. Work? Hah!

Actually, I’ve been cleaning and reorganizing my office. Basically that means I’m getting everything out of here that I can, like my PA system and speaker stands that are just gathering dust these days , pushing my desk and other furniture to the walls to make room for Duncan and his assorted belongings.

Like a play yard. I just got back from buying one off craigslist.com. It’s huge – 38″ by 38″. Kevin hasn’t seen it yet. But I’ve made room for it and this way the little tyke and I can hang out in the office in the afternoons and I can get some work done. Instead of playing with him all day – which is what I did on Friday (and today). It’s big enough that he can sit in it and topple over and not get hurt. He can even crawl around in there too, once he gets the hang of that.

OK, back to cleaning and babyproofing (shoving my desk up against the wall at least removed the hazard of all those wires. It’s not the vision I had planned for my office, but whatever. That’s suddenly become not a priority.

Free agent

I’m waiting for the little guy to fall asleep — keeping one ear on stirrings from the crib. Are they noises I need to attend to, or is it just sounds of falling asleep? I’ve already performed binky patrol reinsertion 2 or 3 times already (and retrieved one from underneath the crib).

Today is my first day as a freelancer. A full-time freelancer. A woman without a 9-to-5 job.

I actually did it.

I’ve been wanting to write about it for a while, but I haven’t known how. I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t in many ways. Yeah, that’s a ringing endorsement of a freelance writer – someone who doesn’t know what to write… it’s different when it’s about you. Writing about other people is easy.

Suffice to say, I’ve actually made the bold step into free agentdom. I do have some steady work lined up–from my former employer–which does make it easier. But still. I was going to write that I’m on my own now, but I don’t feel like I’m on my own. I feel like I’m hand-in-hand with the universe. I feel like I’m being well taken care of. That I can trust that everything is perfectly OK and will only get better.

As I was driving home yesterday to pick up Duncan from the sitter’s for the last time, I had so many emotions going on that I didn’t know how to describe them all.

Giddy happiness that I would no longer have to be away from Duncan, that I get to strike out on my own and see where my ambition and talent will lead.

Apprehension about leaving a decent-paying steady job with great benefits and a myriad of perks.

Sadness at losing my status, changing the relationship with my coworkers (being a freelancer won’t be the same as being a colleague).

Nostalgia for a job I was so excited to get 5 years ago.

Hysteria (mild) that I’d gone and given up the steady paycheck direct deposited into my bank account.

Knowledge, deep and clear, that I was doing exactly the right thing. That’s what continues to resonate with me the most, above the hubbub of the rest.

The Gustina Family Christmas Letter 2005

The Gustina Family Christmas Letter
(as told by Silandara)

Something momentous happened in 2005�I changed my name. No, not to Gustina (although I did finally change it to Bartlett-Gustina on my driver�s license after 2 years of marriage). It was a bigger change than that.

I became Duncan�s Mummy.

Beyond that defining moment in July, much of the year seems a blur�either an anticipatory haze of staring into the toilet bowl or down at my swelling belly, or a fog of getting used to being a diaper-changing feeding-machine pacifier-putter-inner. Human reproduction truly is a miracle. It�s a miracle we keep doing it over and over through the millennia. That said, I love being a mum. I have never been so in love as I am with my son, and with Kevin too as together we brought this blessing into being.

Lest you think that all I can do these days is babble on endlessly about Duncan, here�s the update on the other stuff in my life. (For more on Duncan and his ever-growing cuteness, read my blog at www.silandara.com/blogger.html)

The music biz pretty much ground to a halt at the end of last year. Hauling a 53-lb PA system and being pregnant didn�t mix. And right now, getting a baby to sleep at night and getting up for work in the morning also doesn�t blend well with the gigging lifestyle. I had a good run. I learned a lot. It�s not over, just on the back burner for now.

My quest to become an ordained minister in the Spiritualist church sometimes seems like a never-ending one. I think this is the third year I�m writing about it. I�m almost done with the coursework and, since I did my pastoral skills training last year, all that remains is a few more lessons and lots of tests to take. Hopefully this time next year, I�ll have a new story to tell.

One thing having a child is teaching me (here we go about the baby again), is that I�m willing to go out on a limb if it�s in the best interest of my family. In this case, it means believing in myself enough to start freelancing fulltime (doing writing and Web) so I can stay home with Duncan. It seems like a huge leap to take, requiring a whole lot of faith and more than a small dab of courage, but one that�s definitely worth it. If you know of any good opportunities for me, please let me know.

Since this has become the �Gustina Family� letter, it�s only fair to include Kevin�s news. He�s working nights at RIT in facilities management and has gone back to school. His grades are great and he�s even managed to combine his love of brewing beer with classwork, creating a manual on how to brew beer at home. It�s a busy life, but he�ll soon graduate with an associate of applied arts and sciences degree and then continue on to finish his bachelor�s. And he makes a great Daddy. (

I hope this finds you well and happy. Go in peace this season.

The point of all those Christmas letters

2003’s letter (it’s the second blog post)
2004’s letter

OK, I said I was going to make a point about these Christmas letters. I found it really interesting to read them and follow my progress over the course of the years.

One year I moved from NC to FL to Rochester, NY. I’d had my first public gig with my former roomate’s band. Then I got a guitar that Christmas.

The next year, I was gigging with my own band. I’d gotten a good job, moved into my own place, bought a car (which I still have) and made another attempt to go back to school (the first being my foiled move to England in 2000).

In 2002, I kept gigging – first with my band and then on my own. I dated a lot, and then met Kevin. I got deeper into exploring my spirituality. I quit school.

The following year in 2003 I got engaged, then married, bought a house, gigged a lot, and went back to school again. I also released my 2nd CD, Goddess Inside. (When did I release the first one? In 1999, I think, before I started writing Christmas letters.)

2004 saw yet more gigs (until I got pregnant), more emphasis on spirituality and the course I’m taking to become an ordained minister (which I also hope to use towards a college degree once I’m done with it), and the aforementioned pregnancy. My grandmother died and I moved up a generation in the family.

What I see when I read these yearly letters are these recurring themes – music, school, spirituality, love. Writing is in there too, although I don’t mention it so much. And it’s hard to sum up one’s lifelong love of technology in an annual missive.

It’s…I don’t know…bizarre in a way, yet very heartwarming, to look back and watch the progression of my life. To see myself explore the things I’ve always wanted to do. To take the freedom that being an adult gives me and use it to grow.

I haven’t sent out my Christmas cards yet, so I won’t post this year’s letter until later. Let’s be honest, it’s mostly pictures of Duncan, anyway. But now I’m a mother – fulfilling another life goal.

You know how we’re so good at beating up on ourselves, tearing ourselves down, terrified we’ll never amount to anything? Most people are, anyway. When I look back at my Christmas letters, I don’t feel that at all. When I distill the highlights of my years and see how I’ve changed and grown, I feel good. I feel proud.

Silandara�s Christmas Catch-up Letter 2002

I have a point in doing this. More later, for now here is 2002’s missive.

Silandara’s Christmas Catch-up Letter 2002

Another revolution around the sun. Seems like life used to change more in a year than it has this time around.

The highlights from 2002:

January
Celebrated a quarter-century of life with lunch at my favourite restaurant. I can never again return to this restaurant due to a spontaneous birthday spanking in front of the restaurant�s staff.
Hobbes (my almost-11-year-old female ginger tiger) got a boyfriend when I adopted Tiger (since renamed Oscar by my mum) � a grey and white, 11-year-old, cat of a friend�s mum seized by animal control. I nursed him back to health from an icky upper respiratory infection. He�s now mostly a lovable thing when he�s not trying to drink of out of the toilet.
Played my first solo gig on my birthday.

February
Opened for the Vagina Monologues at RIT with Oak (my band) in front of our largest audience yet. Of course, 15 minutes before we were scheduled to start, I took it into my head to run across campus to get something to eat. We got through it OK, but the guitarist will never let me forget it.

March
Safely enjoyed my second annual ice-skating adventure. (I fell on my arse the first year when I got brave enough to leave the safety of the side of the rink.)
Also, ran down Monroe Avenue in a green prom dress for the St. Patrick�s Day hash.

April
Gigged in a supermarket for the first time. An organic, vegetarian-friendly co-op, of course.
Became a board member on the Rochester Music Coalition, a non-profit organization dedicated to energizing Rochester�s music scene (www.rochestermusiccoalitionlorg).
I also learned and was attuned to Reiki I, an energy healing modality. Great stuff, Reiki.

May
Went to my first hashing weekend in Harrisburg, Penn., with a friend and some Rochester hashers. I had such a good, relaxing time, naked midnight run and all. (See www.harrier.org for hashing info if you don�t know what I�m talking about.)
Visited New York City for the first time. Loved it.

June
Virgin visit to Atlantic City. The casinos gave me a headache.
Spent a weekend in a tent on Sylvan Beach (somewhere near the Adirondacks, but not quite). Stopped wearing a watch.

July
Oak played at ACME Bar and Pizza on Monroe Ave. � our longest and most prosperous gig to that date. Went great until the locals started heckling after midnight (all our friends had gone home by then).
Enjoyed David and Kelly�s 5th annual boxer short and lingerie party where I met a guy who later refused to date me. His loss � it made me move on to better things (see August).
Went to my third wedding (not mine) and realized some important things about relationships.
Enjoyed Harem 2002 for a few good weeks (again, see August).
Went house hunting for a few weeks before giving up in disgust at the crazy-competitive Rochester housing market. I was outbid on two houses for which I offered the full asking price.

August
Met my future sister-in-law (my brother�s true love) and actually enjoyed an afternoon tanning and playing in the waves on South Beach, FL. Met my own love who I can unabashedly say I�m madly in love with (and another future sister-in-law, if you think about it, since he has a lovely sister).
Played my second solo gig at a coffee house before a healing/meditation service put on by some spiritually minded friends.
Went kayaking for the first time. What fun!

September
The 30th annual Golden Link Turtle Hill Folk Festival. I paid my ticket by volunteering for six hours and camped in a tent for the weekend. What an experience, all those folkies, all that talent. I learned to swing dance (and discovered tie-dye underwear!).
Celebrated 11 years in the United States and two in Rochester with a dinner for eight at my apartment (at which I had to ask guests to bring chairs for their dates as I didn�t have enough).
Quit school again. I keep being told (by Spirit, by my friends and by my mother) that I need to focus on ONE thing � music. So I spent some time winnowing down the things I put my energy into and music once again gains top priority. School got winnowed out. I got this far without it, after all�

October
My second annual camping trip with a bunch of friends. We went to Watkins Glen, NY.
Had lunch with Magic Johnson. He came to RIT for Brick City Festival � a parent/alumni weekend thing.

Spend a lot of time with Kevin.

Dressed up as an 80s punk rocker chick for Halloween. They say that what you dress as for Halloween you�ll end up being for the next year�

November
Reiki II class.
Spent Thanksgiving with Kevin�s mum�s side of the family. Had a couple of glasses of wine and a great time.
Found a new favourite restaurant.
Oak broke up so now I�m one little nut all on my own. That�s OK. Watch www.silandara.com for details of where I�m going.

December
Visited Chicago for the first time. Impression: not much windier than Rochester, no colder. I just don�t go walking around downtown Rochester at night when it�s 15 F.
Decided Christmas this year could do with being a little simpler, a little lighter, a little less.
Started house hunting again. Wish me luck.

I sum up the year for you partly for selfish reasons. It gives me a good look at what I�ve learned, even when I think I haven�t learned anything. Seems like there�s still been a lot of firsts and a continuation of tradition. Which is what I want for myself: to keep learning, growing, changing, creating, while maintaining stability and growing roots.
I sincerely hope 2002 has treated you well. Thank you for being a part of mine.

Merry Christmas, Season�s Greetings, a joyful Yuletide and Solstice to you.
May Spirit bless you and yours.

A look into Christmas past continues

Here’s the letter from 2001. I’d better keep working on this year’s.

Silandara’s Christmas Catch-up Letter 2001

Where did the year go? I think I spent most of it wishing for the weekend. And then as soon as the weekend got around, it was Monday morning again. Why do we spend our lives wishing the time away?

In any case, here�s Silandara�s quickie year-in-review and 2001 milestones:

In February, I landed a job at Rochester Institute of Technology doing media relations and web design. It�s mostly a great job although it drives me nuts many days. I wear a lot of hats and some of them are more comfortable to wear than others.
Along with the new job came the ability to go back to school part-time (for free!). So now I�m somewhat intent on finishing a degree in SOMETHING. At one class at a time, it should only take me about 10 years.

In April I moved into my own place in the city, making this the first time since my previous attempt at college that I�ve lived on my own. It was my fifth move in 14 months. For the first 3 weeks, I was in heaven. I�d wander around this space that was MINE, ALL MINE. No one to tell me what to do or that I need to wash the dishes. Then reality sank in that there was only Hobbes to come home to each night. I�m back to enjoying it again although I realize I can only take short expanses of my own company. After about 6 hours, I have to go out and be with other people.

During the course of the spring, I lost 15 pounds and have somehow ended up in several major women�s magazines and the local newspaper because of something food- or weight-loss-related. I think that comes with the PR job. I consider it good experience for what I want to accomplish with my music.

The summer was spent at work looking out the window, out partying and socializing, at the beach (swimming in the frigid waters of Lake Ontario), and winnowing down the harem to my current steady flame. I�ve mostly given up cleaning and folding laundry. Perhaps there was a benefit to living with someone�

In September, I started playing out (in public) with my band, Oak � an acoustic folk-rock duo. It�s a lot of fun, but it�s the hardest thing I�ve ever done. Our future band web site (which may or may not be up as you read this) is at www.oaktheband.com. Join the mailing list and find out where we�re playing next.

The end of September saw the one-year celebration of my anniversary in Rochester as well as my 10-year anniversary of arriving in the United States (these momentous events occurred within one day of each other). I�m still cleaning up the beer stains from the party.

My highlight for November was the purchase of a �new� vehicle � a 1997 Saturn SL2. I�ve finally achieved the American dream � debt. Maybe next year I�ll buy a house. Then I�ll truly be assimilated. I�m back to driving a car, which it turns out I�m rather glad about, but I need some new bumper stickers. I miss my �Well behaved women rarely make history.� At least people knew what they were getting into when they met me.

I always wonder at the closing of the year what�s in store in the year ahead. I have a lot of plans, as always. I even have a couple of New Year�s resolutions (they mostly have to do with exercising, cleaning the house and avoiding simple carbohydrates). Even with everything that�s happening with the economy and the world, I�m hopeful. Each day I work on living my dreams, and with each small step, I get a little closer.
I live an abundant life � full of friendship and laughter, music, good food, spirit, and many fond thoughts of those I don�t get to see so often. It is a life I am most grateful for, even with its bumps and bruises. Thank you for being a part of it.

Merry Christmas, seasons greetings, have a joyful Yuletide and Solstice.
May the blessings of the earth be upon you and yours.
Go in peace.

Christmas letters

It’s December. It’s time to write my Christmas letter.

I’ve tapped out the first draft. To be honest, the final draft will pretty much be whatever I wrote for the first draft. Sure, I’ll print it out and fix the typos and move a few words around, maybe replace one or two. But this blogging thing works for me because I can write stuff and then let it go. There’s not a million phases of editing and rewriting to go through. I guess if I don’t get it pretty much right the first time, it doesn’t usually happen for me.

Anyway. So I wrote this year’s letter. And then I thought I’d read last year’s letter. And the year before. And the year before that… you get the idea. I started the Christmas letter thing in 2000, so that makes 2005 its 6th installment.

I’d completely forgotten what I wrote in past years. It’s an interesting insight into myself to read them now. Here’s the first one from 2000. Maybe I’ll post the others later sometime.

Silandara�s Christmas Catch-Up Letter
(Limited Edition � post printer accident)

Fine, so I�m pass�.

Writer�s Digest announced that the Christmas catch-up letter has been replaced with one made from mayonnaise. Sorry. A letter from the heart, rather, that shares with one�s friends and relatives something close to the writer � how to make a fake begonia wreath, for instance, a favorite recipe, or how to coach softball.

But while I could include my recipe for stuffed aubergine with wild mushrooms (aubergine is eggplant, for those of you who ne parlez pas francais), I choose not to in favor of boring you to bits with a summary of my year. Besides, I have a good excuse � I can�t find the recipe because I just moved, again, I never did get the hang of softball, and if you saw the Christmas wreath I made for the front door with leftovers from the tree, you wouldn�t want my instructions.

Silandara�s Year In Review

January-February: In January I experienced a temporary lapse of sanity and decided I wanted to not only move back to South Florida (Palm Beach County, no less) but also that I wanted to live with my Mum again. No offense to the woman who struggled to bear and raise me, but while looking back on it I can remember it fondly, I wasn�t too fond of it at the time.

The sentence was for three months, until I�d saved enough money to move to London, England and go back to school to finish my degree in theatre. I laid my plans, gently broke the news to my tearful employer (admit it, Scooter, you miss me), and readied myself for the heat and humidity I�d sworn I would never voluntarily re-enter.

March: Early March involved rehearsals and the production of I Hate Hamlet in which I got all the special effects right on a grand total of one night. It also saw the sudden passing of a much-loved uncle, frenzied packing, the cooking of my own farewell dinner, and driving down to Florida through a massive storm. My everlasting thanks to those who helped me through it.

The day after I landed on the alien peninsula, I had a job interview. After braving the sweltering heat, trapped in my mum�s no-longer-air-conditioned car (the U-haul was still on my truck), while fruitlessly searching for my place of inquisition, I prevailed. And thus I became a full-time web site and graphic designer.

April: Most of April passed without event. I went to the beach on Saturday mornings after usually finding somewhere supposedly exciting to pass Friday night. South Florida certainly has a plethora of clubs, bars and restaurants, but the content is much like that of Bruce Springsteen�s TV. And a skirt is just a skirt when it�s too loud to talk.

Then Halloween came early and a co-worker played cupid and introduced me to a leprechaun. We�re still looking for the pot of gold.

May: In May I went home. For the first time in 11 years, I stood on the soil where I was born and no one asked twice when I ordered a glaahss of waahter. Although everyone there thought I was from Australia (and strangely everyone on this continent has since).

The reason for the trip was to audition at two universities. Which I did. And I saw my Dad and step-Mum and little sister and we all had Sunday dinner together like old times, except this time I ate all my peas. I�m not sure if I can quite describe the feeling of sitting around with family, seeing them live their lives and go forward out of a past I always found very painful, except to say that the sense of loss I felt when Jean-Ma died, and that I feel every time I think of the physical separation I have from my family, especially my brother, was reversed and the feeling filled me full. Perhaps we were all on our best behaviour, but for once, it seemed so NORMAL. And I loved it.

During my time in London, I explored the city somewhat thoroughly, managing to only get lost when I was headed to a particular destination. I successfully navigated both the rail and subway systems (after a couple of teenage schoolgirls showed me how to feed in my subway ticket to get the turnstiles to move). I can�t quite say that I mastered the bus system � I�d find the right bus number, but always got on it going the wrong way. I like to think that I saw more of the city that way. And when do we ever go the way we planned in life? I definitely haven�t this year.

The results of my auditions were that one university accepted me, but the college I really wanted didn�t. And I found out that Her Majesty wasn�t going to grant me a less expensive education for the privilege of being a British Citizen. Oh well. There went that idea. Of course, John (the leprechaun) had no influence at all on that decision.

June: Getting laid-off sucks. Especially when you go in to work on a Monday and are asked with surprise why you�re there, �Didn�t they tell you your last day was Friday?� No �they� didn�t. Go figure. So I went and found another job that paid 30 percent more. But money isn�t everything.

July and August: These months were spent plotting to escape the sunny, humid hell of Florida and the confines of my gloomy cell at American Express. Even standing up and craning my neck over rows of cubes, I couldn�t see outside to at least see if the sea of thousands of cars out there in the parking lot were being pelted by rain or baked by sun. And I must confess that during those grim months I watched Survivor.

September: September! The long-awaited, glorious month of freedom I had anticipated for so long. All hail September! My freedom has come! Well, after exhausting hours of packing and sorting and cleaning and crying in exasperation and frustration and sheer overwhelmedness at all-that-had-to-be-done and the amount-of-time-there-was-to-do-it-in-couldn�t-possibly-be-enough and no-one-has-made-me-a-fantastic-job-offer-yet and I�ve-never-seen-Rochester and how-much-does-it-really-snow-there and I-don�t-know-if-I-want-to-sign-a-year-lease-on-my-own-let-alone-with-someone-else and� But it passed with the days and the boxes were filled and taped and loaded and driven away. As did we.

I got to see the mountains again for a few days. I�d almost forgotten the beauty and wildness. I�d missed them dearly with terrible pangs of homesickness. At first, though, I saw it with flatlander eyes and everything seemed so small and big and up-and-down and all around and how-did-I-drive-on-these-roads-everyday? John sat with eyes wide to the treetops. We were both exhausted from the move and I didn�t get to visit everyone I�d planned to. But I left feeling nourished and renewed enough to complete our journey to a land I�d never been.

In late September we arrived in Rochester, New York. A week or two of searching gave us a place to call home � a 1-bedroom apartment until the complex had something bigger available. The job hunt dragged on � so much for potential employers knocking the door down, trampling over each other in their haste to offer me that wonderful, window-office job that pays so well and is as creative as can be but doesn�t require hours on my bottom in front of a computer screen.

But persistence pays off.

October: Job hunt. Hunt. Hunt. Hunt. Maybe under that rock there? How about that one? A job fair? Why not. I actually bought two suits. And wore pantyhose. And boots ;D

Ooh� I think I feel something pulling on the line� yes, I�ve hooked something� let�s reel it in slowly� I think I�ve got it� ooh� oh� yes! Sure, Monday�s great. I can start Monday.

November: I don�t remember. Numerous trips to New Jersey to visit John�s family. Thanksgiving. Catching a cold. Recovering. Things like that.

December: The closing month of a busy year. We moved again to a 2-bedroom townhouse. We�re still unpacking. The Christmas tree is up, and the decorations needed to win the apartment complex�s holiday light contest have begun to hang themselves in windows and on doors. Today I bought a ladder, which I will climb as soon as it�s not pelting snow or ice when I get home in the cold dark evening after work.

The end of 2000 finds me grateful for another year and all the opportunities to grow and learn that it has brought. I feel even less ready for a new millennium than I was last year, but I think it will take a little time to settle down and get used to my new surroundings. I like this area and I have a lot planned for 2001 � hopefully it will be a year of personal growth and blossoming rather than one of upheaval and trying to decide where to live and what to do and in what direction to take my life.

So there you have it, a year in the life of Silandara. And that�s just the summary. Pass� as the catch-up letter may be, I find it hard enough to keep up with my own life sometimes, let alone let everyone else in on it as well. One of my New Year�s resolutions is to keep in touch with the people in my life. You do the same.

One other thing I should mention � I�m also notoriously bad about reading the magazines I subscribe to within any kind of reasonable time frame � the Writer�s Digest issue I just read was dated Nov. 1999. So maybe I�m back in style already. Or, like usual, ahead of the pack as everything goes in cycles.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, a Joyful Yuletide and Solstice. May the blessings of the earth be upon you and yours.

Writing wherever life takes me

I think I’m going to start another blog. This occurred to me last night.

I’ll keep posting to this blog – you know, the stuff I want to share with friends and family. But it’s been taken over completely by baby-itis and I don’t know when or if or how it’ll ever find a cure. Or even that it should.

I read stuff about blogging, about the Web, about podcasting, trends, technology, writing, politics, whatever, that I want to comment on. But this doesn’t seem like the appropriate place. One day a post about the state of … I don’t know, something profound. The next day an update about Duncan finishing his first jar of applesauce. I think it might be a bit too incongruous.

I am a mother and a tech head, that’s true. And I blend the worlds as much as I can, as I don’t think I can happily live without either. But I think they might be mutually exclusive worlds in the blogosphere.

So. I don’t know what the blog will be called. I don’t know where I’m going to host it. I don’t even know what domain name I’ll put it under. And I’m still mulling over what, exactly, I’ll write about. Writing? Marketing? Blogging? Actual ways you can make money online? Any and all of my side projects? I don’t know. All of the above, perhaps.

I didn’t know what I was going to write about on this blog. That’s why it’s called “musings” and whatever else of a writer and folk-rock musician (or something like that). I used to write about…what did I write about? Dyeing my hair and playing gigs? Now it’s all baby this and baby that. It’s wherever life takes me. Maybe I should change its name to that…